The news I didn't want to hear

I went to my Chiropractor this morning. The morning receptionist wasn't there. She wasn't last time, either. I thought that was a little strange, last time I saw her she told me she was pregnant, haven't seen her since. I was worried about her, so I asked. She had a miscarriage, at about 10 weeks. She won't be coming back to work, it was too stressful for her apparently. I am so sad for her, she was so excited. And I was excited too at having her for a patient! I told my Dr. to tell her to please call me if she wanted to talk.

Later that day I called an acquaintance who gave me some cloth diapers to ask a question. I asked her how her pregnancy was going - she was also interested in hiring me to be her doula. She had a miscarriage too, almost a month ago. She was 12 weeks and ended up in the hospital because she hemorraghed.

What a day of sadness. I'm so incredibly sad for these women, and sad for me too because (selfishly) I was really excited about being their doula. A week ago I had 3 potential clients, now I have one who never emailed me back, and two who lost their babies. I wish I could fix it.

And another potential client cancelled her meeting with me today, because she was too tired. I have no problem with that, of course! But if there were ever a day I felt like maybe I shouldn't be a doula, it was today.

This could be my claim to fame!

Our little local county paper may run a story on doulas. I emailed the publisher to ask if they would and they said they might be interested if I knew a doula who lived in their delivery area (that'd be me). So now I just have to wait to hear more. This is exciting! I'd love to see more awareness about doulas in the local area. I live south of St. Louis and there are pretty many doulas in STL but in my county they're not as common.

So hopefully they'll let me list my contact info if they do an article too. Wouldn't that be cool?

Woohoo

Well, firstly, I still haven't heard from Potential Client (PC). At this point I'm guessing she is not going to contact me. *sigh*

But the great news is that my chiropractor's receptionist is PREGNANT! And she's interested in having a doula! I asked my chiro. a month or two ago if I could leave some brochures in the office for her pregnant clients. She said yes. So the receptionist (S) had looked them over and really liked the idea - she is terrified of needles so she is intent on giving birth without drugs. How exciting, she is really early in the pregnancy but I hope everything goes well and she'll hire me. I guess that's one reason to stay in town and not move to Springfield like we were considering!

I guess you could call me a birth junkie. To many American women birth is something to be dealt with if absolutely necessary. For me, I love birth! I love watching birth, participating in it, and even doing it myself. *grin* It's just wonderful and beautiful and can be so very spiritual. It's an amazing thing to be a part of.

Does she love me?

I sort of feel like a teenager in love. Waiting, waiting, waiting... to hear those wonderful words: "I want YOU to be my doula!".

I have a potential client right now, who I've exchanged about 6 emails with. The first 6 were all sent back and forth (6 each of us, so 12 total) within a period of several hours. The last email was the "deal cincher" - a list of standard questions you can get online, to ask your doula. I asked those same questions of MY doula! I eagerly replied and now I'm in the waiting stage. It's been 5 days, but who's counting? I even did the pathetic thing and sent an email saying "Hope you received my last message".

Sometimes my emails don't seem to arrive. Or so I'm told. I'm beginning to wonder if my complex is based in reality.

So here I sit, just wondering if sometime soon anyone is going to actually validate my status as a doula. Since I decided for sure to become a doula I've had ONE client. She was wonderful, a friend called J. I looked forward to her birth so much, she had my OB too, and I was anxious to see what he was like in someone else's birth. Well, it so happened that I was out of the country when she delivered. What a track record! Sadly it was necessary that I leave the country. I would usually never leave around a client's due date, but I had to.

So since then I've received some calls and emails, interest never seems to go very far. One has to wonder what I'm doing wrong? Perhaps people don't like a 'newbie' - how will I gain experience then?

Well, I don't mean to turn this blog into something negative, after all, life is pretty wonderful. Maybe I should make a shocker post and put my birth pics up. Bet that'd get some readership. ;)