The news I didn't want to hear

I went to my Chiropractor this morning. The morning receptionist wasn't there. She wasn't last time, either. I thought that was a little strange, last time I saw her she told me she was pregnant, haven't seen her since. I was worried about her, so I asked. She had a miscarriage, at about 10 weeks. She won't be coming back to work, it was too stressful for her apparently. I am so sad for her, she was so excited. And I was excited too at having her for a patient! I told my Dr. to tell her to please call me if she wanted to talk.

Later that day I called an acquaintance who gave me some cloth diapers to ask a question. I asked her how her pregnancy was going - she was also interested in hiring me to be her doula. She had a miscarriage too, almost a month ago. She was 12 weeks and ended up in the hospital because she hemorraghed.

What a day of sadness. I'm so incredibly sad for these women, and sad for me too because (selfishly) I was really excited about being their doula. A week ago I had 3 potential clients, now I have one who never emailed me back, and two who lost their babies. I wish I could fix it.

And another potential client cancelled her meeting with me today, because she was too tired. I have no problem with that, of course! But if there were ever a day I felt like maybe I shouldn't be a doula, it was today.